I Aspire To Have An Original Thought... One Day

25 | He/Him | Masc Trans NB | Certified Dumbass | Supposedly an Adult

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Time ago

Just some thoughts on things, nothing bad, just didn't want to hijack anyone's post with a novel gnfdji

Some people seem to forget that it's completely okay to have neutral feelings toward something, anything, including yourself and your looks.

Saying or thinking something like "I could work on [insert thing]. I don't hate it, but if I worked on it, I might feel better about it!" is completely fine.

Going from "I hate [thing] about myself" or "I'm ugly" to "I love everything about myself" and "I am beautiful, nothing is bad about me!" is quite unhealthy in itself, because you're just going from one extreme to the other.

A middle ground exists, and it's okay to be there about some things! It's healthy looking at yourself in a neutral light sometimes, because you're not bashing yourself, but also admitting that you're still just a person and not perfect, because nobody is perfect. Everybody has something they don't like that much about themselves, and if it's just something 'small' like "Everytime I eat something with a sauce, it ends up on my shirt." (taking myself as an example here). And that's fine.

Something I learned from over a decade of therapy is that

  • Small steps are still steps
  • Going from one extreme to the other is not 'progressive', it's unhealthy and quite harmfull because it can cause you to not be able to handle criticism of yourself in a healthy manner (even if said criticism comes from yourself); Reacting with "No, I am completely fine and you are wrong!" every time is just as bad as constantly reaming into yourself. Not to mention it comes across as incredibly arrogant and ignorant (even if it isn't meant in that way).
  • Having problem zones is fine. It's how you handle your feelings about it that matters.
  • A grey zone exists for a lot of things and it's so, SO important, especially in modern, social media driven society where it's pretty easy to find people that agree with basically anything, no matter how extreme (good or bad).
  • Nobody is perfect. And that's okay.
  • You're constantly learning and changing, including opinions on things. That's a good thing.

Idk man I suck at putting it into words but basically, self-love =/= loving every little thing about yourself. Self-love is being good to yourself, but also admitting and understanding that you're not and will never be perfect. Self-love is being able to admit when you're wrong and apologize for it, learning from it. Self-love is deciding to work on things you don't like about yourself, instead of claiming it to be "fine" or "perfect" when you feel like it isn't. Self-love is not constantly putting yourself down, but also being able to say "Yes, this time I messed up." and dealing with the consequences, learning from your mistake and trying your best to not repeat it. Self-love is doing your best to not fall into unhealthy behaviours for your own sake, while also being able to understand and admit that everyone has bad days, weeks, months, and that doesn't make you a failure.

Self-love is admitting that you're not perfect, but that's okay because no one is. Self-love is trying your best to be happy with yourself, while understanding that you're still a human capable of goofing up, like everyone else.

Obviously this is just my view point and it's fine if someone disagrees I guess, just felt like putting my thoughts down. Hopefully I didn't get too off-topic gnbdjh keeping things short is hard when words are hard.

(I also didn't want to just burst in and hijack anyone's post, in case they don't like me interacting with it. This way it's easier for people that don't like me to simply ignore me. I'm not a fan of leaving a novel on someone else's post in case they feel uncomfortable with it ngdjfk)

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