I Aspire To Have An Original Thought... One Day

25 | He/Him | Masc Trans NB | Certified Dumbass | Supposedly an Adult

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star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago

star-rice(he/him)
moon
Time ago

star-rice(he/him)
wild-out(they/them, he/him)
Time ago
canon

tommy and tom nook listening to timmy accept anything you sell him:


star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago

An adult problem that I didn't expect to have to deal with is my parents incessantly asking if I either have weed they can buy from me or if I know a guy they can buy from.

The answer for the last 2 months has been 'no' and they keep asking.

I'm sorry ma, I don't know many people... I don't leave the house...


star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago

So I bought some marijuana products while I was down here and they gave me a free joint for how much I bought, but I couldnt take that to where I'm going so I had to make the whole thing in what was under 15-20 minutes and I swear to God I'm still coming down and that was, like 4 or 5 hours ago. Good merciful god.


star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago

Because I've finally realized I need to start seeing a therapist again (I know i can benefit a shit load from it), I'm looking through therapists on my insurances website, of which I noticed they've updated a little bit and made much easier to navigate the enslaught of therapists available. In that update, they expanded what specialties eat professional has including not only LGBTQ as a category, but gender identity and sexual orientation as sub-categories, which is fucking fantastic because while I need both, I need someone who specializes in gender identity the most. Not only that, I was able to find a couple people nearby that fit my needs. Which is awesome!

But what I truly wanted to comment about in this post was that another category they list in each therapists specialties is "faith based counseling" usually followed by which faith (ie, christianity, i do not at all remember seeing any other faith bc ofc not). I specifically avoided any therapist that listed "faith based counseling" because I don't want there to be a chance in hell that this is offered to me. Not that it fucking mattered because there wasn't a single therapist who had both "lgbtq anything" listed along side "faith based counseling". But all the therapists who specialized in faith based counseling were white and over 45, so I'd likely not gel as well with them anyway. Also, there wasn't a single male counselor that made my 'will check out' list, but my caring about that is likely me still being a little sad that previous therapist had to change practices and I was never able to find him again.

I didn't avoid it, but I did keep it in the back of my mind that some of the therapists Imma look into have "substance abuse" listed. My previous therapist I picked because he dealt with LGBTQ issues and completely overlooked that he was also a substance abuse counselor. Lets just say we have a few conversations about my weed consumption (which was much lower back then, mind you) and so I'm not looking forward to those discussions, but I'm not going to go out of my way to avoid them. Ironically, my top pick in this set of therapists is a substance abuse counselor, so we'll see how that goes.

Ideally, I'd have a therapist that understands my drug use and helps me take a wholistic approach to it and can help me identify when it becomes a negative coping mechanism. But substance use innately rewires your brain and its chemical systems... so I have my doubts that any therapist will ever go "yeah, its not inherently unhealthy to use marijuana as a coping mechanism".


star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago

Time to get fucked up on a stomach thats whispering to me that that really isn't a great idea.

However....


star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago
coffee asked:

lavender and balsam

lavender: what always calms you down when you're stressed out?

Part of me really wanted to straight up be like "xanax yo" bc I do, in fact, take that when losing it. But lets be real here, xanax will calm anyone down. So I'll go with the more commonly used method I use, which is just straight up escapism. Can't be stressed if you're doing literally anything else. If I can't escape from my thoughts then, well, we do truly have a problem don't we? In that case I'll usually try and sleep through the panic any way possible. Also, weed is both escapism and a sleep aid, if all else is failing.

balsam: what does a perfect day look like to you?

The perfect day is when you can sit in the sun and be pleasantly warmed and then sit in the shade and be pleasantly cool. Thats the perfect fuckin day right there. Like, you could use a jacket if the breeze was blowing just right, but if you're doing anything more than walking around, you likely dont need it.


star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago

Motherfucker Unlimited just came back from california with a cartridge and forgot to tell me it was 98% thc until after I took a couple hits. :')

We're in for a good time, boys.


star-rice(he/him)
star-rice(he/him)
Time ago
An Anonymous user asked:

whats it feel like getting high on marijuana if you dont mind me asking?

star-rice

As a person who's lived with anxiety for most of their existence, you get to experience what its like to not be like that. It's so good. First time I got high everything was just super funny. Your brain, quite literally, just starts thinking differently so you get wackier trains of thoughts and sometimes you can use it to help you think through a situation you were previously having issues with (and if you write down your realizations you might get to keep them).

Of course, everyone experiences being high differently (its not for everyone, obviously) but weeds one of those things where you don't 'trip' (and thus cant really have a bad one?). If your having a bad time, you can just sleep it off. I primarily use it as a sleep aid and something to get me relax (because god knows my brain is always on fire).

star-rice

RIGHT. ALSO. I always forget this because its not something that affects me and I'm blinded by my love for the bud. As @kcquartets commented, always look up if any perscriptions (or other substances) are affected by THC, CBD, and other cannabinoids. That can really fuck you up, especially when it comes to SSRIs and other drugs for depression, anxiety and mood disorders.



star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago
An Anonymous user asked:

whats it feel like getting high on marijuana if you dont mind me asking?

As a person who's lived with anxiety for most of their existence, you get to experience what its like to not be like that. It's so good. First time I got high everything was just super funny. Your brain, quite literally, just starts thinking differently so you get wackier trains of thoughts and sometimes you can use it to help you think through a situation you were previously having issues with (and if you write down your realizations you might get to keep them).

Of course, everyone experiences being high differently (its not for everyone, obviously) but weeds one of those things where you don't 'trip' (and thus cant really have a bad one?). If your having a bad time, you can just sleep it off. I primarily use it as a sleep aid and something to get me relax (because god knows my brain is always on fire).


star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago

star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago

Eh I got like 2 hours before I gotta fuck off to the airport. Time to get high and do some kitchen dungeon~


star-rice(he/him)
coffeeandyarn(she/her)
Time ago
coffeeandyarn

yall!!!!!!! i had cbd oil w/ kombucha and pizza wine and everything is so fuckin wild. my hair is wild, my life is wild, my actions are wild

everythin's just fuckin wild

star-rice

As another impaired person, should I ask what pizza wine is??



star-rice(he/him)
star-rice(he/him)
Time ago
star-rice

Got big depression feels up in this bitch, tonight. Not entirely sure what to do about it, if there is anything to be done.

Man... and I just realized I signed myself up for a clopen tomorrow. Ugh... maybe it'll help wiggle me out of this funk.

At least I did dishes today.

star-rice

I forgot I had weed. Welp. If I'm going to be depressed, I'm at least not gonna be upset about it. Or sober.



star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago

Okay dreams are fucking really weird, and I don’t mean that in the “weird crazy, unrealistic shit happens” way.


I just realized, today, at work, that I’ve been dreaming that I smoke cigarettes. Like I’ve remembered my dreams right as I wake up, but I’m still in that liminal period where no matter if I remember it or not, those memories are going to disappear in the ether. Well my neurons finally connected those memories in a way that I can remember them conciously because I vividly remembered craving a cigarette and like, sighing at myself and knowing that i need to stop smoking. And just. I have never. In my goddamn life. Smoked a cigarette. I’ll wake up and wonder if that was a fucking dream and be wildly anxious about it for a whole 30 seconds before fully waking up because I have a lot of connotations with smoking (cigarettes).

The closest interactions I’ve ever had with nicotine are as follows:

  • I was at a bar once making friends with a patron who was smoking a cigar and she wanted to show me how cigars change the flavor of whisky (bc I was drinking some fireball). I took a puff and was very surprised how the profile changed. Very fun, would do it again.
  • I know I’ve smoked bowls of weed that have had nominal amounts of loose cigarillo tobacco mixed in.
  • I’ve probably taken a hit off of a vape pen or something thats had nicotine in it.

I can’t remember any other scenarios. I demonized cigarettes as a child because my mother smoked and she always impressed upon me that I should never smoke cigarettes (the whole, never start and you never have to start thing, and I saw how hard it was for her just to switch to a vape much less quit all together). 3 of my housemates are addicted to nicotine (thankfully 2 have been able to get onto vapes, the other still smokes cigarettes). I have never taken a drag off a legit cigarette. Like not even a ‘rillo. Or a black and mild. I don’t even know what a nicotine buzz feels like.

So why in the ever loving fuck is my brain hell bent on telling me I shouldn’t be smoking cigarettes? These dreams are pretty vivid and they feel like theyre a continuation of one another. Why the fuck is my dream self a smoker. I’m so confused.


star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago

Man, and i was gonna use work to sketch up some skitters. And then I was gonna use one of those sketching to do an orange skitter with. And im not sure I can do that baked off my ass.

Thankfully I think I’m just mentally tired, not physically? So there may be hope yet.


star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago

So we ran out of 87 unleaded gas at work and I crave the sweet sweet embrace of death..... or like a bowl so big Snoop Doggy Dog would be contractually required to descend from the weed heavens to tell me “Dawg.... dats too much.”

It’s really not easy explaining to people how a gas station runs out of gas. It’s even more not easy when they’re wondering why there aren’t signs up so they their reward points dont get mega fucked. It’s even more super not easy when all their goddamn questions and the sheer number of them keep me from putting up the goddamn signs. During our rush.

I was like, already planning on calling out from work tomorrow, but now I’m super not coming in. They can go fuck themselves. That was hell. I got bitched out 17 ways til Sunday.

Utilities was helping me out with trash (bc surgery) and usually I’d buy him a drink for coming out and working in the heat but today he offered me one and I think I nearly cried.

And don’t ask me how that shit happened either. The whole gas input/output system is automated, even the ordering. I don’t know. Management doesn’t know. Probably upper management and corporate don’t know. All I can guess is that we were so busy within a 48 hour span that the ordering system couldn’t catch it in time and thus we were out of gas for 3-ish hours.

I really really really hope this doesn’t fuck up our premium ordering either because way more customers than you’d think defaulted to premium instead of just driving their happy asses across the street where the gas is cheaper anyway.


star-rice(he/him)
megafauna(they/them)
Time ago
megafauna

me, high: I don't think I'm high anymore

me, high, moving my head in any way: holy shit


star-rice(he/him)
coffeeandyarn(she/her)
Time ago
aurenfaie

I used to be obsessed with Rick Steves (the travel show host and travel guide author) and, while I'm not so much anymore, I still think about this picture every few days:


star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago

smoking before bed, two birds with one stone. I get to be high and go to sleep. It's a win win. Especially when I'm so wired from today. Its hard to disengage that quickly but thats how lifes going rn


star-rice(he/him)
posted this
Time ago

Finally was able to finish this! I was gonna post WIPs but I didn’t wanna spoil the surprise, just in case.

Its a late apartment warming gift for two of my best friends~

Pattern is courtesy of Shitpostsampler on tumblr. Had to change up the colors to match the floss I had.


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