I Aspire To Have An Original Thought... One Day

25 | He/Him | Masc Trans NB | Certified Dumbass | Supposedly an Adult

About Tags Links $$$
Time ago

This might be controversial


But how many calories are in the Mona Lisa, I’m not planning anything but I’m just asking.
like *if* I “ate” the Mona Lisa how many calories would it “be”.


I didn’t consider portion size either which is silly of me. would the portion determine the caloric value? Or the opposite? And no I’m not talking about the Mona Lisa made into food and then eaten, I’m talking about varnish and oil paint and parchment In. My. Belly.


Okay here’s what we know about the Mona Lisa:

it is made of oil paint on a poplar wood panel, it has a resin varnish.

Did some research, here’s what I’ve figured out thanks to the internet

The wood in question is calculated at 4 calories per gram, the ML is 18 pounds as a whole = 8164 grams= 32,656 calories if that’s just the wood

Now onto the paint and varnish, given we have 1,311 square inches of panel to work with, (this link conceptualizes acrylic paint, which is less thick than oil paint but we’ll roll with it since we don’t have much else to go on.) if 1 ounce of paint will cover 25 square inches, we can surmise that there are 56.7 calories in that square inch, and therefore 74,333.7 calories of paint covering the Mona Lisa.

So your total is:

106,989.7 calories in the whole Mona Lisa, most of it toxic to you

Time ago

Get fucking rekt


I'm absolutely cackling! I was gonna ask "how do you fuck up that badly" but it's all right there. That's how you fuck up that badly. Fantastic. I love it.