24 | He/Him | Masc Trans NB | Certified Dumbass | Supposedly an Adult
HAHHAH OKAY SO I was driving home on a parkway and came up on a cop which, on its own is just "ughghg time to be anxious about the speed limit" bs. Since I passed him at a changing light, he ended up behind me. I was plodding along, but suddenly he speeds up (worrying) then gets behind me (terrifying) and then proceeds to DRIVE UP ONTO THE GRASS MEDIAN, TURN ON HIS LIGHTS AND FUCK OFF THE OTHER DIRECTION.
Fucking wild stuff these idiots do.
I love the feeling of knowing you have pakidges at home :> makes me feel motivated to get through the day will do I can go home and be productive.
loud opinion time.
afab/amab language needs to fuckin die esp when using it in application to trans/nb people.
its a bullshit sneaky way to either:
a. forcibly gender someone who's nb/force the label of a person's ""real"" gender on them, or
b. find out what "parts" someone may have, & if you aren't their doctor or a potential sexual partner then its none of your goddamn business.
(not at all trying to argue bc you and your feelings are fucking valid as hell dude <333)
I will agree that so many assholes need to sit the hell down and stop giving a fuck about gendering me and my existence (esp future and present, but its so taxing when people gender past me too bc dude fuck off. Who gave you the right).
But I find agab language functional for a few things like talking about societies transgression against me based on their assignment of gender which can and does wildly change a person's life experiences (unless the parents have made active efforts to let their children experience as little forced gender experiences as possible).
I can say that, being afab (regardless of my physicallity then and now) shaped a lot of experiences growing up. I can go up to anyone and use that language to convey to them my past without misgendering myself. I don't have to say "I grew up a girl". It allows me to assert that "I didn't choose that, it was assigned to me. And it most definitely doesn't reflect my current gender expression". But it's only useful if I've already 'outed' myself. It only works if the party im talking to isnt being malicious and transphobic. So I have to watch out and continually patrol my boundaries to make sure they're not taking advantage of my openness and mistaking it for weakness. It requires I be strong and aggressively pro-me. Assuming the party im speaking with isn't trusted, anyway. Agab language depends heavily on whos using it and for what purpose as to whether it can be spun around and hurt the people it's meant to give benefit.
I wonder if there's better language we could be putting to use that allows the same freedom as agab, but not nearly as vulnerable (or if we should just keep it to situations it can't be taken advantage of). Ideally, fuckers wouldn't pry into using it against people, but society as a whole needs more time to understand queer boundaries and etiquette (and to weed out the malicious asshats).
#For reference #I'm trans and nb #This is a bit rambly #appologies if discussion on this post isn't appreciated #Anyway #queer discussion is important and agab language has been helpful for me in most situations #is love to see if the community at large wants to navigate protecting against it's vulnerabilities #of which there are more than a few #just trans things13 notes