25 | He/Him | Masc Trans NB | Certified Dumbass | Supposedly an Adult
So I still get ma'am from time to time while I'm working. And I realize it's because of my face shape. Being a bit overweight doesn't help (fat people have to perform gender more to look less androgenous yada yada). But I think I e figured out something. Unfortunately not in mitigating getting called ma'am, but with being okay with it.
I had a guy today say "thank you sir" then he stuttered, corrected himself incorrectly to "ma'am" and apologized. I was perturbed by it, it actually made me chuckle, because as a nonbinary person who only conforms to gender stuff to get a better response, confusing the shit out of a dude is amusing beyond belief. But it reminded me that the way I am viewed is innately more masculine. Even if they clock my AGAB. That ma'am did not mean he saw me as some little girl, definately not someone super femme, but in more of a butch way. Which, I probably get gender envy from butch women more than I ever have before. So is it so bad to catch a ma'am every once in a while?
Obviously I'm doing gender gymnastics on my head about this, but it's refreshing to come out with "huh, that's not too terrible? Maybe a tiny but heartwarming even" instead of microanalyzing why one would perceive me as female and how do I prevent it in the future?
It also helps that the guy who was buying from me was sweet and seemed like he was genuinely trying to be respectful, but as with anyone, it's impossible to know for sure with anyone non-cis.