I think today is the first time I've gotten legit mad over covid and the amount of time has been lost and the amount of stress it's caused.
Like, 1 year anniversary was like "of course this is still going on, most everyone fucked up the response horribly!" but we're coming up the 2nd year mark quicker than I'd like and its settled in that we really really do not know when this is going to end. I had guessed about 2-3 years about the beginning of all this, but I've had a moment to think about just how long 3 years is and how much its drug into the light the inequalities in the US and in the whole world. And its even worse how quick the fucking news cycle still is (and thats not a thing that I see an end to) and the world is changing even more. I feel less secure in my knowledge of like, anything. Like I'm skating by more and more and more. And just god, how can anyone be expected to function amidst all this? And I don't have nearly as many disadvantaging circumstances as a lot of other people. How can the US still suck this much? (the answer is trump and that party's atrocities imo) I know good things are happening, but theyre not sensationalized bad news is. And thats part of the problem.The last like, 5 years has been a steady, consistent and logarithmic increase in the rate of bad shit that continues to happen over and over and over again. And its awful! And it doesn't matter how much I look it in the face and realize thats whats happening, nothing I can do can change it, so why acknowledge it at all? So I can feel performative of my humanity by bitching about it on the internet? It's neither new or revolutionary. What's the fucking point. It just reminds me that the government just cannot, will not give the damns that they need to to protect our fucking country. At any moment, the people who need action the most, can and have every right to die about it.
I just.... I've been having a lot of thoughts lately about how many lies we were fed as children... whether it was about society or the country itself. About our futures.... and sure yeah all of it has history and an explaination to how and why it all happened. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. And its definitely not an excuse for further inaction.